Hardly a Ten (Aussie Kiss 2010)

Title:  Hardly a Ten

Album:  Aussie Kiss (mixtape)

Release Date:  17/11/2010

Single Cover/Album Cover:

Notes:  This track is a typical story about love and alcohol that plays itself out over and over, every weekend, all over Australia and the world.

Production Techniques:  Very simple sound design on this track. Single layered vocals are kept very dry with a little automated X-Y movement on the synthesisers.

Lyrics:

Hair preened, makeup, creams

High heeled shoes and those chicken fillet things

No guarantee you’ll get what you see

It’s like on the news when they use a blue screen

It’s fake, it’s painted, it’s ready to go

It’s like when ya check ya mate’s dodgy reno

Looks pretty good when ya stand way back

But when you get close you can see all the cracks

Hey mate, don’t look surprised

You got fooled along with twenty other guys

Spendin’ all ya money tryna hit on this chick

But when the morning breaks you feel like you were ripped

She’s ugly, saggy, short and baggy

You dry reach when she’s calling you daddy

Sitting there on her bed just gagging

You realise ya last night memory is lagging

Eh, I’ll tell ya as a friend she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

I’m not tryin’ to offend but she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

There’s no need to pretend, she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Wait! It’s no big deal, just hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Don’t act like you’re gonna choke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

If looks were money you’re broke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Toughen up ya s’posed ta be a bloke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Chin up and get that ugly chick home, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Start counting up how much you drank

And how many times you hit the bank

Check ya phone and you got a hundred texts

All people sayin’ don’t call if you’re wrecked

All sayin’ I don’t care if ya picked up

But let me know what’s up next time we link up

Don’t start to get upset it’s just the game

But also make sure you gave her a fake name

Switch numbers and ya better move house

You don’t want Cougartown to come and sniff ya out

She’s probably already got a couple of cubs

Who are old enough to drive her to the clubs

Get ya shit together, run out the door

Keep ya eyes closed they’re already getting sore

The sun’s so bright, you’re in a daze

You remember last night when you heard your friend say

Eh, I’ll tell ya as a friend she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

I’m not tryin’ to offend but she’s hardly a ten, mate hardly a ten

There’s no need to pretend, she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Wait! It’s no big deal, just hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Don’t act like you’re gonna choke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

If looks were money you’re broke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Toughen up ya s’posed ta be a bloke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Chin up and get that ugly chick home, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Keep runnin’ ‘till ya lungs are bust

Can’t see behind you from the dust

Doesn’t matter which way you turn now

You’re free and clear from that beastie’s house

It’s about the time you start the vow

Of how you’re never gonna have a drink from now

Of how you’re never gonna get fooled again

By a chick who’s not hot but can sure pretend

Buzz feel ya pocket vibrate

It looks like ya got a call from ya mate

Pick up the phone, say ‘whassap’

On the other end you just hear him laugh

Getting’ teased ‘bout the chick you took home

But he feels kinda bad ‘cause he took one of his own

We all feel like a turtle on it’s back

No man is immune to this kind of attack

Eh, I’ll tell ya as a friend she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

I’m not tryin’ to offend but she’s hardly a ten, mate hardly a ten

There’s no need to pretend, she’s hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Wait! It’s no big deal, just hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Don’t act like you’re gonna choke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

If looks were money you’re broke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Toughen up ya s’posed ta be a bloke, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Chin up and get that ugly chick home, you’re hardly a ten, mate, hardly a ten

Oh yeah, we’ve all learned a lesson today…

But we’ll do the same thing again tomorrow…

There’s no time to worry about it…

Just dive in ‘cause there’s no way to get out of it…

We’re only human after all…

Just pick yourself up after a fall…

And something else that hurts but is true…

She probably thought the same thing about you… (hah hah hah)

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

(oh yeah, all right, let’s spark and ignite, just look in, my eyes, we’ll do it, all night)

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!

Hey! Now, Use it! Use it!

Hey! Now, Lose it! Lose it!

Hey! Now, Move it! Move it!

Hey! Now, Prove it! Prove it!